How To Handle Criticism

TRUTH: There will be people who judge you because you're doing the thing they are too scared to do.

Who else has had to face judgments & harsh critique for the way you live your life? 

If you have - it means you're doing something right. And you're in good company.

But let's break this down - people who judge/criticize do so to justify their own feelings of inadequacy, insecurities, shortcomings, etc. I mean that's just psych 101. Life is a mirror. Always.

Here's how to deal.β €

1. Be secure in your identity and who God has called you to be. 

This is mission critical, and really the biggest thing. People will always have an opinion. God's matters the most. If you can stand with integrity and say that you are truly operating in alignment with God's calling. Then, who cares... Discussion is over. The problem is, most people aren't here yet. It's ok. I know you're working on it.

2. Have a support system - you're going to need it! 

And here's something to consider: the higher the calling, the more high level that support needs to be. I'm not talking about it just being your mom and your best friend, people! Get a real coach/mentor. Someone you do life with regularly.

3. How I personally handle it. 

I get it. There was a time when it would hurt my feelings too. But then I realized, Most people out here being Judgy McJudgerson have awful lives πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ.

  • Lives I would never wanna live. 
  • Lives I would never aspire to emulate. 
  • Lives that look drastically different than mine - and thank God for it!

They are the worst people to take advice from! 

But I do need to be checked! I'm certainly not above reproach. And this goes back to the support. High-level, regular, #accountability#coaching#mentorship is non-negotiable!  

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A Little Message From God

Pssst... Just in case you didn't know, He knows!β €
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
That gift, that talent, that dream - God knew all about it. As a matter of fact, He gave it to you.

He is not surprised by your desire to do things differently.

He is not shocked by the fact that you're good at what you're good at.

He is not worried about how it's all gonna happen.

He has known YOU all along! 

He is, however, concerned about why you're trying to hide it, why you're not trusting Him with it and why you keep pretending like He it didn't come from him to begin with.

God will do some pretty amazing things with someone who is willing to enter into the vision with reckless abandon and ruthless trust.

The doubt, the fear, the let's wait and see... Well that's just prolonging your process. Let it go! It's not helping you.

When you're willing to trust - He gives us the opportunity to be blessed, but also to be a blessing! And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about!

You, claiming your contribution and blessing others with the blessing you've been given. What a wonderful thing!

Don't fight it. Don't run from it. Face it. Lean into it. Dream it. Do it!!!!

Its always been the thing you were meant to do.β €

Sending you tons of love.β €
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
-Dr. TT .

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Signs of Self-sabotage

Quick litmus test. Rate yourself 1-7 with 1 being, nope never have that problems to 7 being Omg! That's me all day everyday!

βœ‹πŸ½ You are a chronic overthinker - spend too much time chasing the cows in your mind, not enough time building fences.
βœ‹πŸ½ You are a perfectionist - you refuse to show up 100% until everything is perfect, and since it never is, you never do.
βœ‹πŸ½ You don't do things you know you know you should because you always need something else to happen first (example- you need to start a YouTube channel but won't make videos until you lose weight)
βœ‹πŸ½ Negative Nancy is like your middle name. Your default setting is always glass half empty, I'm gonna fail, this won't work, etc
βœ‹πŸ½ You normalize patterns and paradigms that don't really serve you long term - example: money and success only come from hard work. So you overwork, burn the candle at both ends until you're too tired to keep going.
βœ‹πŸ½ A lot of your stress is self induced because you don't have boundaries and love playing the martyr.
βœ‹πŸ½ You judge other people for having the things you want! (fame, money, followers, success, love, etc) and this is worth the weight of this entire post. Cuz most people live right here!

Add up your numbers.

What did you get?

πŸ‘‹πŸ½ Raise your hand if you scored if you scored above a 20.

If that's you - you may want to take a look at some things.

I'd suggest working specifically on anything you got a 4 or above.

It's time to release that crap! Self-saboteurs can stay in this decade. You won't need it where we are going in 2020 πŸ˜‰


This was originally seen on this post:

FACT: Small-minded people have no business speaking into your life

We ALL know "those people"... 

   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who think life should be designed in a "logical" way. Ewwww.
   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who think average, normal, and standard apply to everyone. Yuck.
   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who live life based on lack and scarcity. Man! How sad.
   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who have made fear so normal that they don't even recognize how distructive it is. What a terrible way to live.
   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who think "reality" is a blanket construct that everyone should abide by. Clearly we haven't met - cuz my reality is VERY different than most.
   πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ The people who think they know more about you than you do, more about your calling than you do, more about your life, business, desires, dreams, etc... There is always someone. And they are always 100% wrong.

😒 The sad part is - these people are probably not strangers. They are your partner, best friend, your mom, your pastor, your life coach, your therapist, your dad, your neighbor, your co-worker, your associate at church, etc.

So it's not like you can just cut 'em out. But you can set better boundaries.

Here's what you do:

πŸ›‘ Stop talking to these people about your moves. Stop making small talk about your small business. And PLEASE stop talking about your big scary dreams with small minded people. Don't do it!

It will just leave you doubting yourself in the end. πŸ˜Ÿ

They will always have something negative to say. They will always bring the black cloud. And they will always β˜” rain on your parade and have the nerve to disguise it as the "voice of reason". Um... Just no.

And this is why I love what I do. A huge part of my relationship with my clients is me showing up for them as the antithesis of all the above. I've helped hundreds step into their highest and best, most successful selves.

YOU deserve to have it ALL. People who don't believe that won't experience it. Period! You don't need permission to be who God created you to be. Believe that!

Small minded people have no business speaking into your life. Stop giving them an in.

They are just mad they can't do what you do - which is a whole other discussion on mirrors. Let's save that for a different day.


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Life Skills Building: Increasing Confidence in Achieving your Goal

Conversations with a 17 yr old about confidence and goals.

If you know anything about me, you know that I have a huge heart for the kids! I’ve actually been working with youth for almost 2 decades now! 🀯

Vivian NoloΒ and I were able to host a Life Skills Series with the Miami Dade Library system. We talked about goals. We went through some exercises to help them get some clarity and learn how to set them – even if they were only in middle and high school (we had a few college students too).

After the workshop, one of the 17-year-olds came up to me and said: “how do you find the confidence to have a goal.” Yea…that hits you hard doesn’t it? Such a great question.

  • First of all, the fact she recognized that goal setting does require a level of confidence.
  • Second, the self-awareness that that’s what she needed at the moment.

We talked. Turns out she has HUGE aspirations, but too scared to say them out loud, too afraid to believe in them… And in herself fo that matter. I gave her some things to think about, I am a coach after all. She hugged me after. We parted ways.

I hope she remembers that conversation. I hope she remembers that someone, somewhere believes in her dreams and wants her to achieve them.

I’ve done a lot of work with inner-city and underprivileged youth, so… This gave me a flashback. It’s been a while, but kids still struggle with the same things that grown-ups do.

Those kids grow up to be adults. And those adults end up being my clients. Sometimes all you need is someone to stand with you and say Yes!

Yes to the crazy dream. Yes to the vision. Yes to the goal. Yes to YOU!

So, if you need someone to say yes to that for you today… Then YES! I’m here. I’m with you. And I’m ready when you are.

Dr. TT

And if you want us to come to host this series with your organization, shoot me a message! Let’s chat!