What Is Self-Sabotage?

🛑 The Self-Sabotage!!!

Did you know that self-sabotage is rooted in coping mechanisms you used to help you adapt, get over, or get through painful situations?

Ex: Let's say that as a child you only got attention when you got in trouble - your parents were super angry, but super attentive to you then. Well, obviously, as an adult you know not to purposely make someone mad, but you're still attached to that subconscious pattern, so you sabotage any success by doing things that make people angry (b/c in your mind you think this gets you attention - But that's whats normal to you, so thats what you seek)

This can show up as something as simple as being chronically late. People give grace in the beginning, but if you keep disrespecting their time, eventually they aren't gonna be happy about it. And boom! You sabotaged the relationship, the job, the contract, etc. All because deep down, somewhere in your childhood, you normalized that is the only way to get attention. Seems silly, but that's how it works. Your brain pretty much decided how you were going to show up as an adult before you were out of grade school.

What's so insidious about self-sabotage is that its usually unconscious and passive. People don't even know they are doing it!

When it comes to building a business, you're going to rehash those patterns over and over again. A lot of my clients come to me with questions like:

         *Why do I keep doing this? Or
         *Why does this keep happening to me?

Much of the work I do as a #businesscoach is uncovering those dangerous little self-sabotaging patterns so that hold you back from achieving your #goals.

Because the truth is if there weren't thoughts, patterns and behaviors worth looking at, you would have already achieved them by now!

If you find yourself:

       ❌Blaming others for something not working, or believing the problem is outside of yourself or                   even thinking that your success is predicated on other people
       ❌Walking away because it sounds 'too good to be true'
       ❌Procrastination/perfectionism - these go hand in hand
       ❌Living in Negative self-talk

You may be experiencing your inner self- saboteur. Time to let that person go...he/she no longer serves you. 🤗



This was originally seen on this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPV3eNsjls8/

What Do We Know About The Subconscious Mind?

3 things you should probably know about the subconscious.

1. Your subconscious drives 95% of your thoughts, beliefs, & actions. Swipe to see. The subconscious is always creating based on paradigms you have given it. You want a different reality. Change the paradigm.

2. The subconscious doesnt know the difference b/w what you want and what you don't want. It is creating reality purely from the frequency of your DOMINANT thoughts. And those dominant thoughts create emotion (energy in motion). So if you're always thinking about what you don't want, replaying fear based stories and scenarios in your head and feeling it as if it were real, what do you think you will experience in real life? A reflection of that.

Ex. You want to launch a new program, but the dominant thought you have is no one will sign up. Then your #subconscious tells the brain to create that neuropathway. When the brain does that, you start doing things that lead you to support your own belief. Maybe you self sabbotage. Maybe you procrastinate. Maybe you randomly just get sick. Or maybe you overcome that and you do launch but you start seeing evidence and no one actually signs up. Congrats! You created a reality that supported your beliefs.

And this is much of the work i do with my clients. Helping them uncover the subconscious beliefs that dont actually serve them cuz they are causing blocks in business. Happens to all of us.

3. The emotion is the catalyst. If you can focus on feeling what you think the thing you want will cause you to feel - thats the vibe! And your reality has no choice but to support that. Thats just how this works. Quick exercise: write down 3 things you are working towards that you want to experience.

Underneath, write down how you would feel when you experience that thing. #Focus on the feeling! Linger there as long as you can. See it in your mind. Feel it in your heart.

You my friend have just time traveled. You got to it without ever needed to actually get to it. And this is your #God given co-creative #power of the mind at work. The more you do this the faster those neuropathways get built, the faster you get to experience it in real life.

Good work!
 



This was originally seen on this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPRAOGOjtXw/

Life Is About Leaving The Comfort Zone…

Don’t settle into comfort zones you don’t want to be in. There is always more! And reaching for that is part of the human experience.

No guilt required.

As life is happening to you, for you, through you, its bound to create desires that are beyond your present experience. This is normal!

You can be grateful for what you have and still experience desire.

It happens everyday. You dont want to eat manna everyday, do you? Maybe you want 🍕 then 🌮.

That kind of desire is easy to accept. But the big scary stuff? The unfamiliar? Those can cause you to cling to comfort zones you dont even want!

You see how this can be a problem?

But there is a higher version of you waiting for you to show up for you. A higher version connected to the divine. A higher version that isn’t doubting.

Ask yourself what that version of you would do and lean into that!

Training the mind and body to operate from a vision of the future and to overcome present circumstance and appearance is not easy. But if you’re curious here’s how I do it:

1. Get clear. If you can’t get clear on what you really really want, the rest of this will be moot. Often it’s the lack of clarity that keeps me stuck.

2. Lots of meditation. Teach your body to linger in the the future as if it were happening right now. And then...

3. The feeling creates the frequency. When I can really feel it, as in feel the emotions associated with the desired outcome, I know I’m in co-creation mode. Things tend to happen fast after that.

4. High level Support is non-negotiable. I have had and have spoken to the same coach every week for over 5 years. I am a great coach - I love helping my clients get results! But I can’t fix what I can’t see. He helps me uncover those things within myself. Keeps me out of my head and grounded in Truth.

If you’ve taken my MVMC series, I talk specifically about the The Theology of Desire.


Reminder: your desires are not random - no matter how big or small they may be. The work isn’t trying to strip yourself of them in some masochistic way of being ‘holy’.

The work is to figure out why you have them, who gave them to you, and what you’re supposed to do with them. They arent accident. 😊



This was originally seen on this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPBALRGjj6n/

You’ve got the wrong idea…

Its not what you think...

I talk to people all the time who think "this is it!" like, everything has been leading up to this one BIG thing and that big thing is THE thing that changes everything.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news here but....nope.

Life doesn't work that way.

Its usually the micromoments, the small decisions, the things that seem like "not a big deal" that end up being the thing.

Maybe you decided to go left instead of right one day and missed a huge accident.

You decided to buy apples at the fresh market instead of whole foods and met the love of your life while buying berries.

You woke up at 2 am and decided to scroll through IG, saw a post of one of my online challenges and got curious. 3 months later, you're a whole new you! (i hear this one all the time)

On the quantum level, the reason why these small decisions - the ones you probably arent paying attention to all that much - are so impactful is because 1. You leaned into intuition and 2. You weren't attached to an outcome. Both of those allow for more ease and more flow.

These micro moments of decision making happen every single day. I like to believe they compound, and work symbiotically to get me to where i am destined to be.

And so it is with you...

Do your part.
Listen to intuition.
Show up for yourself.
Remember, God is always living, breathing and working in the details.


This was originally seen on this post:https://www.instagram.com/p/CO0Od7HjOZv/

Wanna hear something shocking?

Wanna hear something shocking? 😳

I leave money on the table all the time, and feel 100% ok about it. #realtalk

Why? Because alignment and integrity matter to me more than anything in business.

I dont have to say yes to everything to make money. And shiny object syndrome has never served me well.

🎈I like deciding how cash flows to me and through me.
🎈I enjoy knowing that I feel fully aligned with the business decisions I am making in the moment.
🎈And I trust that there is always more where that came from.

I don’t feel the need to hop on every online marketing trend (and there are always new ones). #fomo doesn’t dictate how I run my business.

And this is the reason I expose my clients to as many strategies, systems and possibilities is because I know that we are complex and dynamic humans. And we need to learn how to lean into that, trust that, leverage that when it comes to how we choose to make money in our businesses.

Saying yes to everything can be distracting at best, and paralyzing at its worst.

So learning to say no to certain options and opportunities is empowering and it lets you be intentional and more aware of what feels right. What’s mission driven.

You don't have to create courses, host retreats, start a YouTube channel, launch a podcast, work with 1:1 clients, get corporate contracts, become an influencer, invest in crypto currency, flip real estate, write a best seller, and go on a speaking tour at the same daggone time, or ever, honestly.

(although, if you wanted to... You absolutely could - I help multi-passionate clients navigate their multi-passionate desires all the time!)

But you do have to choose what feels in integrity for you, what feels aligned with you.

Get clear on that, hit the Do Not Disturb button on everything else 🤗


This was originally seen on this post:https://www.instagram.com/p/CN44NcDDVQn/